ok so this isn't the real poster, but I kinda love it too much not to include it!!
Director: Gregory Jacobs
Cast: Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, Adam Rodriguez, Gabriel Iglesias, Amber Heard, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Donald Glover, Andie MacDowell, Elizabeth Banks
OK, so after waiting a few days to avoid the worst of the crowds, I headed off to get my fix of semi-naked dancing men with my bestie and just sat back to revel in the glory of the shining muscles, cheeseball dialogue and Channing Tatum. *sigh*
If you haven't seen the first installment of the semi-naked dancing men franchise, it's ok, you are not alone. I mean I absolutely have seen it, but bestie hadn't and she caught up with the concept pretty quickly. Very muscly, very attractive semi-naked men dance for a living and love it. In the first movie Mike (Channing Tatum *sigh*) was the glue that held it all together, but he retired for the love of a good woman. Three years later and he is seemingly living the good life - running his own business, sitting on the beach contemplating life when he gets a call from the boys saying that their old ring master has passed away and inviting him to the wake. PSYCHE! He turns up to find a massive pool party and we are greeted by Joe Manganiello's bare butt (yum), and ends up thrown into the pool suit and all. Hilare!
the gang is getting back together!
image via Warner Bros.
The boys are passing through on their way to a giant stripper convention where all the strippers in the world gather and dance semi-naked while all the women swoon and drool all over everything and shower them in a waterfall of dollar bills. The boys are going on one last pilgrimage before they all reture and it's going to be glorious. They spin a little sob story about no longer having their ring master, who is not actually dead but in Macau having started up a new show with his prodigy. Sneaky little semi-naked dancing men, planting ideas in Mike's head, who's life isn't actually going as great as he makes out.
He leaves them to it, going back to his custom furniture workshop and sets about working on the latest piece. Ironically his old routine song comes on the radio and he has a little dance around the workshop, there's all kinds of innuendo going on here with power tools and pieces of furniture, and I loved it. As did the hordes of other giggling and squealing women in the audience. I can only imagine what it would have been like with a full cinema - yikes!
a little bit of suggestive workshop dancing *sigh*
image via Warner Bros.
The next morning to everyone's surprise (except everyone in the audience) Mike turns up with a duffle bag to join the boys for one last hurrah - cue ridiculous roadtrip - and so they begin their pilgrimage to the giant stripper convention, which is obvs going to be the huge climax of the film. The road trip includes drug fuelled epiphanies, random beach parties with pretty girls, a trannie bar, and surprisingly a plantation house with Andie MacDowell, who as it turns out is the glass slipper (I won't give you any more than that so as not to spoil the suprise).
There is one major problem for Mike and the Kings of Tampa, they don't have an MC for their show. Apparently a strip show without an MC is nothing and they won't be able to participate (or at least that's the general gist of the complaining about not having an MC). Along the way they visit a ghost from Mike's past - which seems all part of his giant plan to get them an MC. This ghost just happens to be a badass lady boss who runs a house full of semi-naked dancing men who are there for the sole purpose of making all the ladies feel special - and by all the ladies, I mean all the ladies, fatties, dowdy housewives, geeks, pretty girls, all the ladies who are just like you and me, as well as all the ones who aren't because it is Hollywood after all. Plus they have Donald Glover who just makes up songs about women based on their names to boost their self esteem...it's golden.
Donald Glover singing a little tune
image via Warner Bros.
Mike's badass ex-boss is none other than Jada Pinkett-Smith, who seems super unsettled at even the site of Mike - and really who can blame her becase it's Channing Tatum *sigh* - and to even consider his proposal she requires the semi-naked dancing from him just to make sure that he still has it. Who the flip cares what 'it' is, I'm all about the semi-naked dancing from Channing Tatum *sigh*, I don't need a reason! Everyone lols because she makes him do the semi-naked dancing and then says no...lol.
Major crisis of the plot line is not solved, they also have no costumes as they threw them all away during their drug enduced epiphany when they decided all their old routines suck a big old bag of dicks. I'm kinda glad that happened though because as much as I liked the routines from the first movie, if I wanted to see the same routines again I would have stayed home and watched the first movie. They carry on anyway, get to Myrtle Beach and who should be there by the badass lady boss, and Donald Glover, plus one of badass lady boss' best dancers to round out the show.
Elizabeth Banks just checking to make sure Mike still has it - which he undoubtably does
image via Warner Bros.
But yikes, they only have one day to put together a whole new show and get new costumes and build a new set and sort everything out so that they don't look like a bunch of hacks on stage. Cue amazing perparation montage, which is glorious and the second best part of the whole film. Can they get it together in time and pull off the greatest show anyone has ever seen? You bet Channing Tatum's glorious, shiny, ripped body they can!
errybody loves a montage!
image via Warner Bros
Then we get to see the fantastic show that's been put together in one day (as a dancer and choreographer I call bullshit, but it's Hollywood, so it's legit right). It's all about listening to women and what women want and empowering them - or at least that's the vibe, and that's what plenty of other critics are saying - but I don't see how throwing women around on stage and dry humping them is empowering women. Not that I would complain about Channing Tatum *sigh* picking me up and throwing me around and dry humping me, but I'm certainly not going to say I've been sexually empowered.
voice of an angel - who knew?!
image via Warner Bros.
So, in terms of quality, the film is not amazing. The script is predictable and cheesy (although who knew Matt Bomer could sing like an angel?!), there is plenty of semi-naked dancing, sexual innuendo and sparkly thong encased peen, and they try, albeit not that successfully, to get a little bit deep and tug at some of your feels. Basically it's just a bunch of pretty dudes semi-naked dancing and there were plenty of people loving it and plenty of people squirming in their seats because there are parts that basically border on the edge of softcore porn. Whatever man, I don't care, because seriously that guy can Channing all over my Tatum anyday (if you don't get that reference, then jump on youtube right now).
If you liked the first one, and you don't mind seeing the prettyn men semi-naked dancing, then I think it's well worth the 20-something dollars to go and see this on the big screen. Don't worry too much if you haven't seen the first one, but if you can watch it before hand then do as it does set a bit of the early context. I mean, not that you need an excuse to watch Channing Tatum *sigh* semi-naked dancing to Ginuwine's Pony, but it's as good an excuse as any!
semi naked dancing men *sigh*
image via Warner Bros.
For film quality 2 out of 5 but for entertainment value and for Joe Mananiello's butt and Matt Bomer's angel voice 4 out of 5
xoxo
The Blonde Bombshell
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